How to be confident even when you're shy?

| 26 Jun 2020

Video edited by Sharon Zhong

Even if you're a confident person by nature, there will be instances when you feel your game is off and you're not as confident as you normally are. So, for everyone out there -shy or confident by default- how do you prime your confidence back to top shape?

In the training video, Neuro-Persuasion Expert, Tylus Lim explained three simple methods to power prime yourself to a confident and feel good page.

Three ways to become more confident:

#1- Power posing

In power posing, all you have to do is stand, sit, or pose like a superhero for 2 minutes. Pick your choice - Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman. If you find it weird and awkward to power pose like a superhero, pose in the toilet or somewhere private before you go for any social event or networking session. Because according to researcher Amy Cuddy, when one power pose for at least 2 minutes, their testosterone level increases, while their cortisol level decreases. When testosterone levels rise, the chemicals can lead to increased feelings of confidence. Whereas our body's main stress hormone cortisol goes down, thus reducing stress. 

So it's a win-win situation when one power poses - confidence goes up, stress goes down. 

#2- Fake it till you make it

Quoting philosopher William James "We don't laugh because we're happy - we're happy because we laugh."

The idea behind this is that one should just laugh for no reason because feelings of happiness will follow. So, start feeling confident even if you're not, feelings of confidence will follow. 

#3 - Power prime yourself

An experiment was done where they divided people into 3 groups.

Group 1 were told to write experiences where they felt powerful.

Group 2 were told to write experiences where they felt powerless.

Group 3 were the controlled group where they were told to write nothing. 

All three groups were then told to write a resume and sent it off to recruiters and headhunters. 

Guess the hiring rates for each group:

Group 1 who were told to write experiences where they felt powerful -70% were hired

Group 2 who were told to write experiences where they felt powerless -26% were hired

Group 3 who were the controlled group where they were told to write nothing -50% were hired 

This experiment showed that power priming oneself with powerful or confident experiences will help you overcome undertaking an activity that's anxiety-filled.


So, the next time you have to go for a stressful event, do any of the three methods mentioned here:

#1- Power posing

#2- Fake it till you make it

#3 - Power prime yourself


If you would like more training and motivation on the go:

Listen to #Podcast on #SoundCloud:

Are your advisers motivated? (part 1)

Make obstacles your opportunities

Use the ugly decoy - Tylus Lim

Training playlist on Soundcloud

Special thanks to Bay Hotel Singapore for providing the filming venue. 

Jensen Siaw International is the Official Training Partner of Asia Advisers Network.


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